Tuesday, November 23, 2010

The Pain in the Ass Rain!

My last ride before heading to the PNW for the Thanksgiving holiday was...at the very least, unexpected! Hello...the reason I became a "snowbird" was to...get away from the snow and RAIN! However there were 2 very good things about the ride...ok 4.

1. It was the 1st ride that I have had with the "GHOST RIDER" in a few years...boy did we get into trouble in the past...maybe that is why she stopped riding with me??? NO...medical reasons, not me & the trouble!

2. Cowgirl was with us...The Ghost Rider is her mom and I have sure missed her beautiful, smiling, yellow lab face!

3. The Ghost Rider has a new horse...a Peruvian Paso Fino and he and Lady were absolutely perfect on this very windy & wet ride!
Little Shanna Lady Rose is wet and shivering before our ride. Her eyes seem to be saying...MOM, did you forget that you melt in the rain??? Or was it MOM did you forget that I may melt down in the rain???
And just look at that saddle!!! Do you think I am gonna put my dainty little ass in that wet thing???
Well...yup I did and we rode the Fern Canyon/Vandeventer/Palm Cayon trail, over 3 hours of drizzle and on every corner heading Northwest the wind just about blew us off our horses!!! We voted it the 3rd windiest ride we had had together!!!
I have yet to mention the 4th reason the ride was so good...
Yup...we almost won the pot of gold lottery!
When we finally got back to the trailer our little butts were colder than a witches tit...it felt like we had peed in our pants! We wisely decided to eat our lunch back at the stable in the comfort of my dry tack room.
Your Desert Rose!

Friday, November 19, 2010

Rock Peeing...Do Not Try This At Home!

WARNING: Graphic Images Ahead!

As terrific as trail riding is and that I love it so much...there is one aspect that I really hate! PEEINGONTHEFUCKINGTRAIL!!! (25 cents in the cuss jar) Most trail heads have restrooms or at least honeybuckets for a pee before mounting up. Then there's always the horse trailer in the case where no other option is available before hitting the trail. However sometime before the 2 hour in the saddle mark...I need to stop. I do ride a few trails in the desert and PNW that do have a honeybucket at select spots on the trail...however the majority of the trails I ride have "nofuckingpowderrooms"!( 25 cents in the cuss jar) That leaves only one option...in the PNW, you hand your horse over to a riding buddy to hold while you pick a big tree for cover because you already know that if you take him with you as you are squatted down...he will nudge you until you fall over to the ground with your pants down around your ankles. Been there done that...no thanks! However in the desert...99% of the time...there are no trees...and you search for a large bush or rock to hide your bare bottom.
All this being said...there is a trick I will share with you about dodging the inevitable river of pee that will chase you no matter how carefully you have tried to place your feet. This is not a worry for my boots but there is one rule I try never to break. NO PEEING ON THE CHINKS!!! When squatted down the fringe drags the ground and is impossible to contain both sides of fringe while in this humiliating position. A friend shared the trick of finding a rock or log to sit on. Doing this will help control any river of pee and splatter that comes with peeingonthefuckingtrail ( 25cents in the cuss jar)
I am sure you have all heard the expression  "Does A Bear or Cowgirl Shit in the Woods?"

To be continued in the near future after one too many shots of COWGIRL COURAGE!!!
Your Desert Rose!

Saturday, November 13, 2010


No longer do we have an empty nest... 3 yr. old Lucy Lu has captured our hearts amazingly quick! Adopted from our desert area animal shelter less than 2 weeks ago...Lucy has settled into the household routine including our crazy sleep issues like a trooper.
Look at the gorgeous gold of her feet and belly.
The perfect stripes on her body and head! I think she may have a touch of exotic blood line going on... her nose is almost cougar like.
She tries to herd us to the bed...but wants us BOTH to be there! She has begun to sleep in my arms some of the night now...she has the softest coat I have ever felt and purrs as I stroke her. Miss Lucy Lu is a real sweetheart and we are so lucky to have found her!
Your Desert Rose!